Flashback - 2009

finally...
dpt jgk setel diz problem after all..
da lame aku keep this thing,,
tp mlm tu aku all out sume,
mungkin aku da betol2 tak tahan,,
ms ckp nak break,aku mmg rase kosong tp airmate still mengalir
coz tkenangkan semua kenangan,,,
tapi smpi ble pkr neh tgntung mcm ne je kan,,
aku da sgt2 penat nak bergdh pasal the same thing
yg which is tak pernah pn jd dlm kenyataan,,
and its hard 4 me to explain it,,
and its hard to continue this relation when trust tu dah tade..
dia mgkin tak faham how is it feel,,
it making me suffer eventho aku hepy je tyme hang out dgn dia,,
sbb aku keep menda nie coz aku xtau nak explain mcm mane
and if aku bgtau pn,pd dia it just a lies,,,
ape yg aku nak cume dia bole put back trust dia kat aku,
aku tak mintak dia percaya aku buta2 aku tak soh dia jd
bodo mcm tu,,
cume stop to arguing and question it about all that lies wen
kte dah talk and gdh pasal tat matter,,
i noe that is hurt of what i've done but jgn la seksa aku in tat way plak
aku dah cukup menyesal dgn semua yg aku phn tipu dia,
wen aku nak berbaek n try to ubah perangai
he ungkit back that matter and ask for explaination
but wen aku xplain he tout all that still a lies
sdgkan kte dah gdh pasal tu ryte,,
can u juz 4giv and 4get,,
even susa nk lupekan juz keep by ur self if u keep thinking and
questioning tu akan jdkan hubungan neh worse ok,,
all the lies tu bkn aku betul2 berniat nak menipu untuk buat
pekara xelok,,sometimes theres a thing yg dia xkn
dapat terima if aku bgtau pekara sebenar,,lik ms aku tmpg
irfan balek,if aku cakap aku balek dgn irfan that nite
he still mad aku jgk,,dia mesti akn pk aku ad pape dgn irfan,,
aku tau dia akn pk mcm tu coz aku kenal asry tu,,
tp aku pn bodoh jgk sbb tak pandai menipu and keep that lie
safely,,sbb mmg bkn tu niat aku!
aku tak suke bile dia terluka tp aku tak bole nak make sure
dlm hubungan neh aku takkan melukakn hati dia langsung coz
aku tak perfect pn,,mcm tu jgk aku,aku tak bole nak push dia
tok jdkan segalanya perfect utk aku coz dia pn tak sempurna
so as a loving couple kte kne always prepare for that,,
we might hurting eachother it juz we dont know how bad and when
it is goin to happen,,,
aku sayang hubungan neh,,sbb aku rase dia seorg yang sgt dekat
dgn aku,,seorg yang mane aku bole share everything,yg bole
aku buat perangai gle2 and can be myself so xpyh aku nak pretend jd org
laen,,dan he still standing 2 be with me,,
dah byk yg dia korbankan utk aku utk hub ni,
mcm tu jgk aku,,
bukan senang utk aku campak dia keluar dari idup aku dlm
sekelip mate,,
dia terlalu bermakna dalam diri aku,,
aku tau aku byk ubah idup dia,,
mgkin byk yg buruk dari baek,,dia sendiri pn ckp mcm tu,,
ble aku tau pasal tu aku rase xsdp,,
aku rase mcm aku gagal utk dia,,
i were try my best for him,,
aku cuma nak yg terbaek je utk dia,,
tapi it turns other way,,
kdg2 aku rase hub ne dah tersasar jauh,,
mgkin pengaruh sekeliling,,
aku tak suke pe yg jd pd hub ne skg,,,
aku nak mcm dulu,,
penuh dgn gelak tawa gurau senda,,
wen we fight sikit byk menda tu akn effect hub ne,,and it will
continously...
mcm mane aku nak back kn hub ne mcm dulu?
aku try nak mesra mcm dulu bkn aku nak lupekn
pe yg dah jd aku cume nak pulihkan,,
tp dia mcm susa,,it not working if aku je yg berusha ke arah tu ryte?
tp aku tak nak give juz lik dat,,
cinta ni terlalu berharga untuk di sia2kan mcm tu je
aku tau dia tak mampu tanpa aku mcm tu jgk aku
so please for sake of our relationship,,stop saying about all my lies,,
please,,,i love this love and i love him so much,,,
i cant lose him even for once,,
aku bole jd xtentu arah and if aku hilang pertimbangan
aku bole jd gle!!
aku cuma mintak dia sentiasa ade bila ms aku perlukan dia,,
mgkin its sounds lik unfair to his friends,,tp dia dah bersame kwn2 dia
since kecik lg,,aku baru nak kenal lebih dalam sape dia
sebab byk lg yang aku tak explore tentang dia..
untuk kahwin dgn seseorg aku rase aku perlu kenal dia dgn sedlm2nye
aku tak nak khwin then after that cerai,,
so utk lalu proses tu makan ms even da khwin pn perlu lg
proses perkenalan tu coz people might change,,
aku nak jd yang terakhir dalam idup dia,,satu2nye perempuan
yg sgt memahami diri dia,yang sentiasa ade utk dia dlm ape jua
keadaan,yang bole jd tempat dia utk berkongsi ape saje tentang diri
dia,,
pada mate aku ape yg ade pd dia da cukup smpurna bg aku and bt
diri aku jd sempurna jgk,,takde ape lg yang aku mintak dari dia cume
perhatian sepenuhnya and kasih sayang dan cinta yg tak berbelah bagi
terhadap aku,,
aku percaya dia mampu untuk jd seorang suami and ayah yang baek,,
aku tau dia bole cuma mase akan tentukan segalanya,,
aku taknak kehilangan cinta ni and diri dia jugak,,
dia sangat bermakna,,hub ne da smpai ke peringkat yg serious if we fail
pasti ramai yang akn sedih,,or might be gelakkan kteorg,,
cuma aku harap aku akan lebih kuat utk hadapi segala halangan
n cabaran dlm hub ne,,,aku harap dia pn same,,aku taknak waste
semua yg dah dilaburkan utk hub ne,,,

hubby,,,,for all that mess that i've done in our love,,
i apologize,,please put ur trust back to me and stop keep on ungkit
all my lies whch is kte da pnh gdhkan,,
i dun wana us to get suffer and hub ne jd worse,,
please for sake of our love,,try to forgive and forget,,
i juz need u so much in my life,,please be with me,,
im not asking u to leave ur friends for me,,
juz be fair to me n ur friends,,
i hope after this we will recover,,n can be like what we supposed to be
and love will become deeply,,
until our dreams come true,,i really cant wait for that time sayang,,
i wana c how cute Aerin Zulaika Binti Asri and
Adam Zulkarnain Bin Asri,,
Please help me to make that dreams come
true,,,,
Sayang,,,u are my purely truly love,, my love to u are too deep and strong
i cant tell u by words,,i feel lik to tell the whole world how much my
love is to you,,,u make my life sunshine,perfect im not lack anything
wen im with you,i dun care what will happen to world i juz need ur love
for me to keep on breathing,,i dun care how bad people
think of u,,i will always stand next to u,,coz i believe that why i sent for,,
i pray our love will long last forever~


16 Julai 2010 _ I will never stop loving you sayang